The Exclaimer: One of the reasons that I brought in the subject of anonymous groups is that growing up in my household left its scars-mostly unseen. Very, very few people can live in that level of dysfunction and neglect without it affecting our lives in some manner. On some people, it shows in the way they carry on in their lives. Most observers would consider me high-functioning because I have gone to college and I am able to maintain employment. In the U.S. education + working means that I have overcome my background but these markers of “functionalism” do not address the unseen. If you are self-aware enough to realize that you need help, then seeking help in all its various forms is just part of life. It’s definitely a part of my life. 

One of my friends who belongs to an anonymous group found it difficult to receive what he needed during the presidency of 45 as well as the entirety of his time in office. We’ll call him, DeMarcus. As one of three African Americans in an anonymous group of about 28 people, he felt with certainty that some of his group members had likely voted for 45. 

Good to great anonymous groups purposely leave any topics related to politics along with social issues outside of their meetings. The focus is to work on YOU. But, as with many of us, we’ll sometimes go to lunch or a similar event where we become acquainted with one another outside of the 12 step guidelines and principles. This is also the time where you are likely to broaden your relationships with one another. 

For many African Americans, the socio-political climate of the country adds to the state of our own personal mental wellness. But, in an anonymous group climate, there’s no room for external fears or factors. For DeMarcus, the dilemma continues to be, “What parts of my own pathologies are mine alone that can be shared without offending anyone or starting controversy?” After all, this is all about self-healing.

I face the same dilemma in my own life at work and in the world at large. If there is a police shooting of an unarmed African American man or woman, I won’t leave home for days because I don’t feel like I can prevent or protect myself. This adds on to my own bouts with depression and anxiety. But, there are many people who see these shootings from the lens of, “They must have done something…” to evoke this extreme of a reaction from law enforcement. 

How does one strip down the layers without feeling targeted?