This was a dark time but also a time of revelations when I joined a support group for families whose relatives were diagnosed with a mental illness. I had reached the end of my own rope when I joined. My mother would not take her medication and she became hostile and erratic. She began storing scissors under her pillow because – hell, everyone was out to do her harm. The board-and-care (B&C) facility where she resided were of no help to me and their residential psychiatrist was a pure a******e.

Also, I worked full-time, had and have my own mental health issues, and was deeply stressed when my supervisor at the time recommended a support group for me. The support group is offered within an organization that advocates for mental health and for families whose relatives are diagnosed with a mental illness.

I attended the first meeting with the expectation that I would be the only person of color present and I was not wrong. In this case however, I was also the only one whose parent was diagnosed with ongoing mental illnesses. All the other members were the parents of adult children who’d been diagnosed with a mental illness(es). This definitely set me apart but it very little difference over time.

We were from various educational and socioeconomic backgrounds from high school dropouts to medical doctors. I was also the youngest member in our group but by no means was I a young woman at the time. Some of the group members were in their late 70s early 80s!

They relayed their experiences. Some of my fellow members had installed locks on their bedroom doors as they feared their adult children would kill them in the middle of the night. Others were able to rent an apartment for their child because of this same fear. A few had children who were in treatment in a facility. Their children’s ages ranged from young 20s to their late 40s.

During one meeting, I looked around the room at these strangers who I’d come to know and respect and wondered, “What would happen to their mentally ill adult child when they were gone?” Overtime, I realized that they also thought about this question.