Was my childhood all negative? Almost nothing is one extreme or the other so I have to bring some of the positive aspects of my childhood into this ongoing conversation about having a parent with schizophrenia.

Ruby was never one to over praise children for their cuteness, especially her own. Instead, there was an emphasis placed on learning. As soon as I could speak, I learned to memorize: my full name, my mother’s name, my phone number, and my address.

Being a country gal, my mother was used to walking long stretches and we did not have access to a car nor did she choose to take the bus. We would walk block after block to the playground and to the library-my favorite place on earth! We checked out books which were later read to me. At some point, I was able to read to myself before beginning school. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know how to read and sound out words.

With these skills, I was able to spell out the words on my grandmother’s prescription bottles because her eyesight had worsened over the years.

Another way in which Ruby contributed to my life was her enduring patience. See, I was one of those children who asked many, many, “What if” questions.

“Mamma, What if I could hypnotize all grownups to give me candy…”

She would answer my question with great patience but then I’d go on to ask another following a line of logic (at least it was logic to me at that time!) until I had exhausted all the possibilities. Never did she yell or scream at me for my endless questions. I wish I had her patience! LOL!!!!

Finally, was her willingness to indulge me in a game of thumb and/or arm wrestling. We played these games well into my late teens. She remained stronger than me until her body weakened. These were the times when we would laugh and giggle and she would accuse me of allowing her to win.

These snapshots of our time together are assembled so that I can remember that in moments as rare as blue moons, I truly got to be her child.